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By: The Apocalypse

Game info:
Genre: Action
Designed by: id
Year Released: 1996
Players: 1+Multiplayer Online up to 16
Modem, IPX, Direct Connect and TCP/IP available for Multiplayer. Save capable.

System Requirements:
CPU: Pentium 75
OS: DOS; Windows 95
Video: VGA

So anyway, you're in this army thing and your general or whatever calls you up and says, "Hey, this big Quake dudes gonna like kill us all! Can you like help us and stuff?", and you're like "Uh...ok", and you go out to kick this mofo's ass. It's basically a bunch of bullsh*t.
-Taken from the manual, in my own words.

Gameplay: (8/10)
Let me first get one thing straight: you probably won't buy this game for the single player aspect. It totally sucks. The monsters are retarded, the story's lame, and everythings totally dull. But that's not Quake. That's sh*tty "single-player quake". The real Quake is much better. The "Multiplayer Quake". Extremely addicting, tweaked to perfection, and extremely fun. Words can't even describe it.
8 weapons are available, from an axe to a lightning gun, with the rocket launcher in between. Oh, how fun it is to frag someone with a rocket launcher. Releases a lot of anxiety.
Level design is also great, my favorites being the ones designed by John Romero, my idol.
So this game gets 12 stars (heh), then loses 4 for the single player. People without internet access: don't buy this game. Get internet, then buy it.

Sound: (10/10)
The sound effects and music are great, and they're all made by my favorite musician, Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails. The music totally sets the mood, and the sounds are really cool. Not very realistic, but strangely, I kept having the urge to hear them again and again. Its weird.

Graphics: (7/10)
Pretty damn boring. No neat effects or anything, just dull 3D. Players and monsters are blocky, and the blood is just big red pixels. Still, it was the first shooter to be "true 3D", creating a legion of clones and wannabes.

Control: (9/10)
Shoot, strafe, jump, basic 3D shooter affair...but in true 3D! I know its nothing new nowadays, but back in the day it was astonishing. Great control over everything. Finally, it makes sense to use the mouse AND the keyboard!

Overall: (9/10)
What the hell? Ok, you obviously have at least some internet access if you're reading this...go out and buy the frickin game! Don't bother if you're like looking at this at school or something.'s an idea...if you've got access at school, but not at home...go buy the game, then find a way over the network fortress on your schools computer, then install it and have a blast during class! Heh-heh. Or not.

"Press y to summon Satan all over your hard drive."
-One of the messages shown when you exit the program